Acts of genealogical kindness

It's easy to be disappointed in people. So often they're selfish, they're inconsiderate, they let you down.

But sometimes you encounter someone who reminds you that there are a lot of good and caring people in the world, who are indeed willing to help-- sometimes going far above and beyond what is asked or expected.

One such lady I encountered on findagrave.com. To protect her privacy, I'll call her Mary.

I had added a memorial on findagrave.com for my maternal grandfather, Henry Howes, and had sent out a photo request.

If you're unfamiliar with findagrave.com, it's a site where you can create memorials for deceased loved ones or ancestors, and ideally give the location of their graves and add pictures of the grave/person/cemetery.

One of the coolest things about this site? Say you know where a particular loved one/relative is buried, and would like a picture of their tombstone, but live away. You can create a memorial page to that person and then send out a photo request. When you do, everyone who lives in proximity to that cemetery who has opted to be a photo volunteer will get a notification about your request. They can then choose to fulfill your request and try to find their grave and take a picture for you.

If there's a problem preventing them from being able to fulfill the request (tombstone can't be found, cemetery condition is too poor, etc), they can notify you of whatever it is.

Mary did not have a plot number to look for, because I didn't. While many photo volunteers won't even bother trying to get a picture for you if you don't provide them with a plot number, she went to the office that was responsible for the cemetery. With admirable persistence, she tracked it down-- got a map and everything.

She ended up sending me pictures of the graves of both my grandfather Henry HOWES, and his father Horace. I wasn't expecting them to be buried in the same plot, so it was a wonderful surprise. They were both buried with their respective second wives, neither of whom I'm descended from.

As if this weren't enough, this dear lady offered to look up records for me on a genealogy research trip she was about to take to Concord, NH, and Boston, MA. She cheerfully told me to make a list! I was interested in finding some fairly recent records that are not available online, so I shyly gave her a list of about three things I want to find.

Mary just returned from Boston, and while there she found my maternal grandparents' marriage record. She emailed me yesterday with all of the info contained therein, so I now know exactly where and when they married. I can send off a form with a check for $28 to the state of MA for a certified copy of the record.

It turns out, also, that you don't need an exact date if you request record copies from Massachusetts-- they offer to search within a time span of up to ten years. It probably will take longer to receive the record in that case, however.

I just want to publicly acknowledge Mary for doing so much for me, someone she doesn't even know. She has no relatives in Florida that I could help her research, so in return I could only offer to look stuff up for her on paid databases that I subscribe to and she doesn't.

Thanks, Mary, not only for your help in finding records about my relatives, but also in reminding me that there is still good and selflessness in the world.